Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
