I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
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Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
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I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
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