Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
