If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Randomize