two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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