he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
you never un-have a 4some
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
