this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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