I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
she looked like the before picture.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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