If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
Randomize
