can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Randomize
