I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Randomize
