Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
Randomize
