alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Randomize
