If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
