the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
