How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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