he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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