K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Get the fuck back here. Your brother taped bottle rockets to the front of his scooter and is bombing around screaming, "Rest in peace, Goose!"
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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