So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
