you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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