The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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