Grow some girl-balls and come out already
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
