He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So some guy at the party is convinced I'm Edward Cullen. He keeps calling me "Twilight" and following me around with a stake. I'm concerned.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
Randomize
