Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
I'm really into asian looking animals
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
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