I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
