I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
You need Xanax blowdarts
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
