She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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