You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
we're so committed to being not committed
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
