I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
My mom assumed I was crying because he was leaving. Figured that was better than explaining my eye's sensitivity to semen..
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Congratulations! We have a period
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
