You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
