too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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