The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
