When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
