I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
