we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Randomize
