The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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