I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
