just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
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