it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
