Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
We can add pilot to the list of people who's lives I've changed...with my penis.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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