i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Randomize
