just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I made a bet with her that she would show me her tits if I finished my beer. Only on spring break.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
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