Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize
