You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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