She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
