Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
