Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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