ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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