Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
I wannas sexs uuuuu
I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
