dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
