Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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