Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
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