It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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