she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
