Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
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