The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
