if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
