it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
I want a musical about memes.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
