I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
