Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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