New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
I feel like I had a successful night. I flashed the guy at the liquor store last night for 2 free tshirts and a giant redbull.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
