We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
