Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
