was it more than 30 minutes?
then you're in a relationship
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?