Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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