How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest